Throughout my life, I have enjoyed the metabolism that most folk can only dream off. With each day bringing forth new opportunity for choice pickings of delectable ‘Junk’, my daily fancies of cakes, chips and pies often succumbed to the playful envy of others. But however many laughs in admiration, and praise that I received for my slim figured frame, I never thought of myself as ‘lucky’, as those folk suggested. Like most other young woman, I too were deeply unhappy, hiding my misery of body dissatisfaction in other ways, and the suffering I carried was the unbearable shame of body hair.
It started at some point between my childhood and early teens. The transgression of life from the idylls of natural care-free expression had turned into feelings of a new-found awkwardness. This marked a tragic turning point, that heralded a modern day ‘coming of age’. I had washed up onto the shores of criticism and judgement, joining the world in the search for happiness in perfection and the message that rung loud and clear was that there was nothing more imperfect than myself.
The new world seemed fearful and hostile towards difference. Here I felt starkly exposed to the thoughts and opinions of others and what these thoughts and opinions might be of me! So, I eagerly joined the crowd, wanting nothing more than to blend in and be accepted. Luckily, help was at hand and the main stream media kindly displayed a variety of advertising techniques to help guide and support me along the way. In them I saw perfect girls beaming with ‘joy’, and of course these were the beautiful girls who I so desperately wanted to be. Then one day, an understanding began to arise, somewhere from deep within a sea of accumulated sensory influences, ‘As a woman, your body hair is unfeminine and unattractive, and here are the ways you may rid yourself of your hairy affliction’! I was struck by horror. What then was young and impressionable girl to do? Everything possible, to avoid the fear of ridicule and disgust. So I borrowed my dad’s razor and set to work.
Now, my hair being quite thick and black also grew incredibly fast. This was nothing short of pleasing when dealing with a haircut gone wrong, but on the other hand this would turn hair removal into a continuous and arduous process. The reality of shaving wasn’t the promise of smooth hairless skin that I’d seen on the telly, but having to put up with days of prickly uncomfortable stubble and irritating skin rashes. As I grew older, societies pressures only strengthened my insecurities until I eventually developed a difficult emotional complex. Shame had turned intimacy into my greatest fear and rather than face revealing the extent of my body hair to anyone, I denied myself the relationships that I longed for. I lived with this anxiety for over a decade, always looking to release this pain in the next breakthrough product, but as my hair held fast, my hopes slowly faded.
This was the painful struggle. The pursuit to grasp at an unattainable dream had only caused my desires to intensify, and the longer it went on, the more frustration and unhappiness I turned in on myself. But one day, I did find an end to my suffering. Not on the shelf of the beauty isle I had spent decades in searching, but I stumbled upon it, in a place I was never told to look.
Some years ago, I became interested in a philosophy I had heard in many great literatures. This was about the cultivation of a love so great it would stretch far beyond the relationship between two people. A universal love so powerful as to encompass everything and everyone. I was touched by these teachings and became inspired to try and find this ‘unity’ for myself. Perhaps it seemed like a tall order, but I thought it was worthwhile, even if I made only a few steps towards this goal, I knew it would still be of great benefit to me and those around me. During my quest, I came across an idea of acceptance which said, ‘to accept others for who they are we must first learn to accept ourselves for who we are’. I felt drawn to this. On hearing this message, so simple and yet so profound, I began to recognised the intense criticisms that I had held towards my own self over the years. In a culmination of remorse, relief and in my goal to experience the oneness of love, I made a decision and this was to try and accept a part of me that had repulsed me and caused much hurt during my life. For this quest, I decided to stop shaving and put every effort into the acceptance of my body for exactly the way it is.
It’s been over 4 years and my legs, my arms and pretty much all other hairs to this day have remained in tact. Luckily my beliefs have held fast and I have never looked back. However embracing my body hair has not always been an easy journey. The strength of my decision was a spiritual one and one that I have continued to believe in. I have used the simple method of cultivating thanks and gratitude to help transform my thinking from the habitual patterns of disappointment or annoyance to positivity. By ‘changing my mind’, I have learnt to truly appreciate my body for all that it endlessly gives and now the struggle is over. By contemplating the beauty and magnificence of the body’s workings, my mind has rested in a state of more harmony and happiness then I ever thought possible.
In my journey with acceptance, I have questioned and scrutinised the ‘why’, behind our prevalent culture of shaved skin. Why has body hair, something so natural have become so vilified, while beauty images photo-shopped to perfection are now the new norm? A lot of my confidence has arisen in the reflection of this point. By failing to find any common sense in branding body hair as wrong, or my failure to find any logic behind it, then the fear of judgement has lost its power and I am no longer afraid of an opinion that doesn’t hold any truth.
I have tried to capture an essence of the mental and emotional suffering that body shame created in my life for over a decade and what it took to be able to break free from these damaging views. Sadly, the obsession of hair removal has become a global affliction, one which has spread to all corners of the world where the beauty industry and media serve to exist. By actively creating the insecurities upon which it profits and thrives, this multi-billion-dollar business has crept into the private lives of us all, serving nothing but to create a continuing disservice to womankind. I am waging a war on the beauty industry, to end the untold damage and to restore the true beauty, the beauty of heart, mind and soul that lives within us all.
Originally published in the Elephant Journal www.elephantjournal.com/2019/04/the-journey-to-beautiful/.
There is no hope for humanity until the animals are free, because while we continue to accept the enslavement and exploitation of others, we are allowing the enslavement and exploitation of ourselves.
From deep inside my underground city cave, amidst the eerily empty streets and suffocating close confinement, months have passed by... Waiting with increasing unease, for the outcomes of the global Covid-19 pandemic to unfold.
In the weeks following the announcement of the UK state of emergency 'lock-up’, the Covid-19 survival guide arrived, Its contents, detailing an ‘all you need to know, in overting a mass contagion crisis’, which was in reality, little more than second rate garb, notably lacking in any key substance and generating nation wide confusion.
In full blanket blow to democracy, this document proceeded to shamelessly exploit the common rhetoric, ‘in the interest of public safety’, to further tighten legislations over arrest and surveillance, without review or repeal for years to come. Alarmingly, these attacks on civil rights and basic freedoms have increasingly become the status quo. Gaining ground by assimilating into our daily lives, further altering our boundaries of normality. Sending us to that place of quiet forgetting, a realm whence few dare return.
Five months into the crisis and the curtain is slowly rising. As the first signs in the unveiling of this new world start to emerge, we hold witness to untold damage, set to change the future of humanity forever. From enforced suppression of immune system response, threats of compulsory vaccinations and an entire generation of children bearing the psychological scars of social isolation. The direction the world has moved in such little time is astonishing, and this is only the beginning.
Throughout our lives we have been lead to believe that we live and rejoice in the great and glorious freedoms of our civilised lands. But far from this notion, it is those who have been born into the furthest reaches of the last remaining indigenous tribes, who have truly come close to the experience of inherent freedom. Because at that moment our parents unwittingly sign away our lives to the state, we begin a life of social programming. Throughout institution and establishment, affiliation and arrangement. The end result, to have moulded our minds into submission, making money for the man. Objective complete.
The human race is fast entering into an age of great captivity. As the grip of control continues to tighten, and the last of our remaining freedoms are lost to the state, I am horrified. I am horrified at the prospect that there is no escape. For how long in our history have we sang songs and shared stories, dreaming of the day we took the power back? We were calling for social change centuries ago, and we are still not winning. In fact, we are losing really badly. So now there is only one thing left to do. To live in truth.
For many years I have admired the thought of going vegan. Well aware of the suffering food animals endure, yet never finding the right time to remove the dairy dependence from my diet. But this goes beyond health and even far beyond compassion and kindness, this is the restoration of a fundamental sacred law that we have forgotton and are now paying the ultimate price. As a global community, we have ruthlessly exploited our power, over all other life forms on this planet. 100 billion sentient beings will end their lives in captivity every year. The vast majority of them food animals, reared in factory farms and forced to live under submission of their will, every right taken from them. But this is more than just a pitiful tale this is our collective story, the fate that humankind is facing today.
Because our outer world is only a manifestation of our inner thoughts and actions, so what we deem as acceptable for others, will in turn one day reflect back upon ourselves. I can not accept or allow the enslavement of myself, nor can I fight a force so great as our ruling government bodies. But I can join a force much greater than that. To live a life in the power of respect, and in honour of the freedom of all living beings. Because we live in the collective consciousness, where the experience of true freedom is to set all others free.
Do unto others as what you would have others do unto you. ~ Jesus Christ, Luke 6.31.
For Beth,
‘The Truth Behind HS2’, is the title of a short documentary I was writing while living at the HS2 protest camp. The idea came when a camp supporter, ‘Dwight Rabbit’ wanted to create a film on the reality of HS2 and asked if I could provide the narrative. Although I left camp before the documentary was complete. I have used this work to reflect on my personal experiences during this time.
Dwight Rabbit is currently working on ‘The Seedling Project’. You can find out more about his current work at https://www.facebook.com/TheSeedlingProject.UK/
Whilst facing one of the hardest winters in 30 years we can no longer deny climate change. Species extinction is happening at a phenomenal rate and environmental disaster is approaching. We can’t escape the constant reminder that we are consuming too much and polluting each and every corner of our natural world. It appears humanity has taken a nose-dive and hope no longer lies in this elected government, so who do we turn to?
My name is Black Cat and I’ll be taking you through my journey… waking up to the modern-day tragedy of apathy and finding the courage to stand up, because to give up is the end.
In October 2017, I said farewell to my friends and family to explore community living here in the UK. While ‘on the road’, I heard of a protest camp against the development of a new high-speed train line called 'HS2'. Despite not knowing anything about protest camps or HS2, I decided to go along for a few weeks before flying south for the winter. But what initially began as a two week stop over, ended up becoming a longer-term undertaking. As for the first time in my life ever, I joined an exciting movement for social justice, environmental and political change.
On the 14th of November 2017. On what felt like the coldest autumn day since I had started my travels, I set off for the Colne Valley protest. I had camped in cold weather before, but this was a bitter bone shaking cold and I wondered if I would last out the week.
When I arrived at camp, flags and banners were a-blaze. Messages of ‘Save our Nature Reserves’ and ‘Wildlife Crimes’, were hung high, rippling in the trees. It certainly looked like the environmental protest I had imagined, and I fully expected to find a ‘hippy eco warrior’ clinging to a tree. But when I came to meet the protesters for the first time, I was in for a surprise. Here were a group of unextraordinary, pleasant looking folk drinking tea around the camp fire, and I couldn’t help but think, there was more going on here than first meets the eye.
The drifting hippies were actually local people from all walks of life. One camp member and full-time resident had been campaigning against HS2 environmental damage for several years, while her passenger boat business was likely to suffer too. Other protesters resided in the local mariner, where construction works were also set to wreak havoc. The stereotypes I had in my mind were quickly fading. The reality was, this was a gathering of the concerned community, who were coming together to protect a land and life they loved, because HS2 threatened to take it all.
Before arriving at the protest camp, I was certain I wouldn’t be involved in any direct action. Afterall, I was only looking for somewhere to camp for a few weeks, and the image of the angry protester shouting and shaking their fist, was enough to put me off! I had decided to stay well away from that and had in mind a more romantic image of spending my time playing protest songs on the guitar.
But that idea soon faded when I was introduced to ‘the office’! because inside a large multifunctional tent, there was an exciting world of ‘behind the scenes’ protesting going on. There was paperwork and emails, legislations to read, charities to contact, petitions to work on, social media to update, and suddenly, this was starting to look like, ‘my kind of protest!’
As the days passed, I got to know more and more about the enormity of what was happening, and the list was quite extensive. Loss of habitat, endangerment of protected species, the effects on air pollution and water quality and all this was happening inside of a nature reserve! I could see that the need to save Colne Valley was of high importance, but the democratic means I was working on had all been engaged in previous years to no real avail. Sadly, the reality we all know is that money talks, and in applying this principle, the Colne Valley action camp had other ways of catching HS2’s attention.
I would watch in admiration as my fellow protestors would bravely set about climbing diggers and blocking entrance gates. Direct action was certainly making its impact, but although I had come to know the magnitude of what they were standing for and while I believed in them every-one bit. I remained firmly stuck to my resolve – “direct action is not for me".
Then one day, a few weeks after my arrival, Jonathon Bartley, the coleader of the Green Party came to visit and with him came the BBC.
That evening we made the 6 o’clock news, and oh what fun it was to see us all on the telly. But what really caught my attention was when I heard Jonathon Bartley’s interview for the first time. “When local people have been side-lined, when it seems councils have been bought off with government money, absolutely is right that local people should take direct action”! My heart lifted, and I finally felt relief. Hearing this level of validation being pledged from a reputable political party, who were saying, ‘yes, we fully support this protest’, became the reassurance that I needed.
Jonathon Bartley’s words became a turning point for me, and I embraced direct action as if a switch had turned. Before I knew it, I was scaling fences and occupying entrance gates, and we were pretty successful at it. But rather than engage us in talks, HS2 decided to retaliate with one last barrier that governments and multinationals like to hide behind, ‘criminalisation’. Because the law is designed to work for them not us.
All my life I had been, like most others, a fearful law-abiding citizen. But since I believed it was right to protesting HS2 on moral and ethical grounds, I was fully prepared to stand for my actions. Now the unfortunate thing is, with the police force firmly at the beck and call of the ‘powers that be’, the actions of a protester will easily fall onto the wrong side of the law and I was deeply saddened at the level of policing I saw. Wrongful arrests, threats, deceitful and coercive tactics, were all a betrayal of the justice system that I had once believed in. This manipulation and miss-use of the law, to protect an otherwise unlawful project, broke my faith in the justice system, and in the words of Jonathon Bartley, summoned with every being in my body, ‘it absolutely was right to protest’.
We spent a lot of time connecting with the local community, which greatly helped us build new relationships and networks. We always said, ‘if we were going to save Colne Valley, we needed everyone to come together’! I also had my own personal quest. In my early days, I had arrived at camp full of misconception of what a protest might be and who I would find there. When I later discovered that the media image was a far-stretched fantasy, I wanted to end this disservice and help to change the way protesting is seen. I hoped that by going into the community, people would get to know who we really were. People just like you (and me)!
While most people were in support of stopping HS2, there were others who held a different view. Some were hostile and angry towards us, some were indifferent, some had long given up and though it was time we went home too.
The anger often came from passing cars, they really liked to tell us (shout at us) to ‘get a job’. This was always a surprise to hear, because of course, my understanding was, that we were doing a job. Unfortunately, prejudice becomes common place when jobless is a ‘dirty word’, and at the side of the road, we were an easy target. In all fairness most people driving past may not have had any idea what was happening on camp. To many, we must have looked bonkers, thinking we were stopping HS2 by sitting around a camp fire and drinking a rather fine amount of tea! But it wasn’t all work and no play.
The indifference people felt was above all the hardest thing to accept. How was it possible when living with HS2 on your doorstep? Be it the ludicrous costs, or the removal of ancient woodland, surely there was something for everyone to dislike. But as the story goes, the communities here had been chasing HS2 through parliament petition after petition for +7 years, finally in 2017, the project was granted royal assent, leaving this extraordinary effort to amount to nothing. It seemed that the resignation of feeling for many was to either accept what was happening or to ignore it. I resonated with a different emotion. I had arrived here knowing I would be part of this community only for a finite time. I knew HS2 wasn’t changing my way of life and I didn’t have to forever live with the consequences. But every day I did meet the people whose homes and livelihoods would be destroyed. Every day I was moved by their plight and I was fully determined to help.
One particularly wintery December weekend, while holding onto a pink fluffy hot water bottle for warmth, I was arrested and taken away on suspicion of blocking the highway. Eight hours, a vegan chili and three cups of tea later, I was released without charge, although given the plummeting temperatures, I wouldn’t have said no to spending the weekend in the nick! But there was worse to come. One morning out of nowhere, a team of law enforcement agents arrived on camp with thick bundles of legal papers. HS2 were seeking an injunction, and seven named defendants, (I being number five) were being taken to the high court!
It was a terribly stressful time for us. HS2 were after damages, court costs, and a camp eviction while we couldn’t even cover the costs for a solicitor between us. We spent weeks tangled up in a mountain of paperwork trying our best to decipher the legal jargon in the evidence we were given. The injustice of the situation was hard for anyone to believe. This multi-billion-pound project with access to public money had forced seven protesters to the high court. HS2 were able to enlist top international solicitors, Evershed and Sutherland to take the case with months of compiled paperwork, whilst us defendants had little financial option, but to represent ourselves in court. Talk about the upper hand! We would have loved to take the government and HS2 to court, but of course for us the funding does not exist. The good news was that on the day, Mr Justice Barling the high court judge appeared to recognise the importance of our efforts and saw fit to safe guard the camp against eviction whilst negotiating costs back to HS2, but all the same the injunction was granted.
What people find interesting is that I am a (retired) Engineer. I worked for many years on controversial oil and gas construction-based jobs and even spent 10 months on a job site in my own overalls and high-vis jacket! Because of this background, it’s been easy for me to relate to the HS2 workforce, after all, it’s only been 3 years since I was on the other side of the fence, working for the other guy! I’ve tried to approach protesting with compassion because I remember how I felt when I was in the system. I thought my job and my comforts were the accomplishment of life. Ultimately, what will stop HS2 will be an inner change in people’s mindsets, then their jobs will naturally follow. It’s not something you can force anyone else to do, however much anger you want to take out on someone, or guilt you try and make someone feel. Change is a very personal journey; some people may find their way there now but for others it may take a lifetime.
Being part of this protest, has been one of the most enriching and treasured experiences of my life. Here, I met a group of people with exceptional courage, inspiration and selflessness, whom I will always be in gratitude.
In my six months at camp, I have learnt that protesting as an essential activity. Just the expression of protest, is as every bit as important as the outcome. Every right we have has been won, and by protesting we continue to set those limits. It is our greatest power. The simple fact that the camp is here, is a very positive statement. This powerful image continues to give the message, yes there is a spirit alive in England, and by providing people with ‘something’ to become part of, opens the way for others to unite. If as a result, if we managed to inspire just one person and set them off on their own journey to the truth, then to me that’s a job well done.
What I realise now is that, when you try at anything there is no such thing as losing because you will always win; in ways that you never would have imagined. I overcame my fears and developed the mental strength to live out the winter in a tent at the side of the road. In the company of environmentalists, I received an education into environmental law and ecology and thanks to the Hillingdon Green Party, I had a truly incredible experience running for local Council. But above all, I started writing. Writing to share the truth because the people are listening and the time when one day we will live in harmony will come.
Everyday people would tell me ‘but you know you’re not going to stop it don’t you?’ and every time I would react with the same surprise. Where does so much indifference and lack of self-belief come from? We need to start telling our children, yes, they CAN. BE. DO. ACHIEVE anything in life. Of course we can stop it, not me alone, but us together. Look at what a small group of people here managed to achieve. Yes, it’s going to be difficult to stop HS2 but even HS2 are starting to realise that its’ possible, because they know we think we can stop them, and if we think we can stop them.. well then, that’s when change starts to happen. It all begins with a positive thought…
Final Word
Sarah Green is a full-time resident and environmental campaigner residing at the Colne Valley wildlife protection camp. She is being taken to Uxbridge Magistrates Court on the 1st of April, charged with aggravated trespass. If she is found guilty, the injunction at Harvil road can be invoked with serious consequences. Sarah has been tirelessly campaigning for many years, for the protection of Colne Valley. With great risk and love she selflessly continues to put her life on hold, and on the line.
If you are able to support Sarah, a crowd fund page has been set up to help her raise money for the costs of the court proceedings.
https://l.messenger.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.crowdjustice.com%2Fcase%2Fprotect-londons-drinking-water%2F%3Futm_source%3Dbacker_social%26utm_campaign%3Dprotect-londons-drinking-water%26utm_reference%3D2efb11e1bbfdce45fda45f7f351cd835%26utm_medium%3DFacebook%26utm_content%3Dpost_pledge_page_flat_v1&h=AT0q-tpTWGXiUdwPSGOvOrtwoA4jW9naHzZk4aTZpJZfYbPF7F9OjKlI6T3-4GT_HNsXQ6W-Vc6NbLKBBcR_L9lKYhD3xVvrAgpbWCqlZrmHbfaaq5T4lRLXWrQlDYIU68zrIpZdtrZuR3pjtHw
Unfortunately, what is happening here at Colne Valley not only impacts London, it is a global issue which affects us all, no matter where we are from in the world. Please share this article so that we can reach out and make change happen.
